Have you heard yourself say this:
“I could have avoided this mess if only I didn’t [Insert mistake here].”
I catch myself doing this at times and I know it’s bad. But in order for us to improve in life, this attitude needs to go. We should move on from our mistakes and focus on learning the things we did right.
It’s more beneficial to know the right thing to do and do it more often than know the wrong thing you did and avoid it next time. If we look closely how we deal with problems, we can see the difference of these two perspectives:
There’s only one way if not few to do something right and an endless number of ways to do it wrong. You can’t watch all the failure videos in basketball and then expect to become an effective basketball player. Nor should a dancer for example fall down in creative ways in order to learn “what to avoid in dancing.” It just won’t make any sense. All you are doing is getting yourself distracted by putting more ideas how to fail in your head. In the end you’ll end up terrified to even take the step in trying for fear of making another mistake. You’d say “Oh no, this is the part when usually fail… see? I knew it. I’ll never get past this.”
Focusing on the wrong things we did is NOT productive. I’m not saying we should never assess our mistakes and failures, but if it becomes our priority in life, we’ll never be able to unlock the excellence in us.